Tricks for taking a shower with your baby

We’re pretty comfortable with the nudity here, too – my 9-year old son sees me naked regularly, and the main reason our kids don’t see dad naked very often (other than when they barge in on him in the bathroom) is because he wakes up first and is usually at least partly dressed by the time they have their eyes open. (I was breifly concerned over the whole nudity across genders issue, but by-and-large, the challenges seem to have been mastered with very little effort, and some proper terminology… granted, the initial questions can be a bit astonishing, but once answered, they’re really answered! And they all know what privacy is, and demand it when they want it.)

We’ve tried the showers thing, but my kids are very sensory sensitive, so shower spray has been a bad thing for most of their lives. Sigh. I used the bouncy-seat outside the shower while I watch, and the bath toys outside the tub, both worked for a while. But I still end up preferring just getting up early and getting the shower in while DH sits with the kids – they get good cuddle time in that way anyway.

RE: The hair-washing… each has had unique and different reactions to the washing hair routine:

G: Hates the feeling of water hitting his head. Overtimulating, irritating, freaks him out (used to scream, now just flinches and squeals, though he WILL take showers on his own). Things that helped: shampoo-hat/visor, pouring water with the cup edge resting ON his head (water does not cause the ‘impact’ sensation, just pouring), washing his hair while lying down in the tub in shallow water (scooping with hand), washing and rinsing with a soft bath brush (many rinses, but does a reasonable job).

B: Face wetness, soap in mouth or eyes, and a sense of not being in control are the main issues. Wetting was okay, soaping was okay, RINSING was bad. Used a wet washcloth to rinse with, both just wiping down repeatedly and wringing gently on head. Coached him to hold a handtowel over his face as young as possible during rinsing, and he still will do this. Also recall vaguely that he had an issue with his hair being moved the wrong direction or tugged – it hurt. He had cradle cap for AGES, and his scalp was sensitive. Oh, and changing shampoos really helped for him, too – again, an ownership/control thing, it was HIS shampoo, just his.

R: Interruption of play time is the biggest issue, moving/tugging on her hair while washing/rinsing was secondary. Once she learned that I’d leave her alone (figuratively, not literally) if I just got the shampoo out of her hair, she immediately tolerated having her head sprayed down with the shower-on-a-hose thing (set to gentle flow – none of them can bear the rain-spatter feeling up close). Bonus, the shower routine meant I didn’t TOUCH her head/hair while rinsing, so no tugging/pulling while working the soap out.

M: Power/autonomy and sensory issues. Will wet, shampoo, and rinse her own hair (starting around 2 1/4 years old) if given the chance. Will tolerate a little help if I explain why the help is required. Will try almost anything to wash her own hair (without regard to safety), rather than have me do it (somewhat ‘eek!’ there). Earlier on, used soft bath brush and comb to wet, shampoo, and rinse. Also used a wet washcloth, and avoided pouring from any distance (hates all of the negatives – interruption, autonomy, water impact, soap on face/eyes… all at once!).

All of them have issues with face-drip, so teaching them to ‘look up at the owl’ (as my mom did with me) has helped.

So, from my perspective, if you can figure out WHY they hate it, you may be able to figure out a solution to the fight. Just remember that the issues also change with age (such as autonomy/control being a biggie from 2 1/2 – 3 1/2 for many kids).