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At 8:00 p.m., the ms Westerdam feels like Grand Central Station at rush hour. Well- dressed guests sashay to and from the Vista Dining Room and Lounge. The bars buzz with the clinking of martini glasses and the small talk of new friends. Out on the Ocean Bar’s dance floor, long- married couples dust off their ballroom moves. By midnight, the ship is a ghost town. A few stragglers linger in the bars, and the DJ at the Northern Lights disco plays to an empty house. The only people left in the casino are the dealers packing up their cards and dice. Is this lack of nightlife due to a busy schedule at tomorrow’s next European port-of-call, or is it because the Westerdam ‘s passenger roster has so few guests under the age of 65? It certainly isn’t the fault of the elegant public areas or their resident musicians. After spending 10 nights cruising the western Mediterranean on the Westerdam, I’ve decided [% 9823 | | Holland America %] and its classy ship cater to a certain kind of tr...

Photo illustration by Slate . Images via rune hellestad/Corbis via Getty Images; Visions of America/UIG via Getty Images. The same week that a statue of Robert E. Lee led to the death of an innocent woman in Charlottesville, Virginia, I watched him oink and squeal in a race for the fate of the country. Lee, this time, was a piglet—part of Dolly Parton ’s Dixie Stampede, a Medieval Times–style dine-in attraction where seven nights a week and at occasional weekend matinees , the South rises again. Advertised as an “extraordinary dinner show … pitting North against South in a friendly and fun rivalry,” Dolly Parton ’s Dixie Stampede is the Lost Cause of the Confederacy meets Cirque du Soleil . It’s a lily- white kitsch extravaganza that play-acts the Civil War but never once mentions slavery. Instead, it romanticizes the old South, with generous portions of both corn on the cob and Southern belles festooned in Christmas lights . At its sister staging in Branson, Missouri (the original ...